Top 10 Things You Hate to Hear on an Airplane
March 11, 2009

  1. This is your captain speaking. I don’t mean to alarm anyone, but if the child out on the starboard wing belongs to anyone, would you please alert the flight attendant?
  2. I’m sorry sir but you have one more child than you have tickets for.
  3. Boy, Dad, you sure made a loud noise in the bathroom…and what is that smell?
  4. Dad, wasn’t there an engine attached to the wing when we took off?
  5. Psst, Dad, this big fat lady next to me is squishing me.
  6. I know I just went, but I gotta go again.
  7. How much longer?
  8. How much longer?
  9. How much longer?
  1. Honey, you take care of the kids and wake me when the plane lands.

Leave a Comment

  1. skyshark
    Mar 12, 10:31 AM

    Here’s one for you…dad why does the pilot have a seeing eye dog? Love the newsletter Todd. -signed, a local pilot

  2. Preston
    Mar 12, 10:43 AM

    How about this…?

    This is your captain speaking.
    I have some bad news. We have lost all navigational & communication devices and and we have no idea where we are. We are almost out of fuel and the engines are failing one by one.
    But I have good news…we are making excellent time.

    My wife suggested this…

    Mommy, I don’t feel so good….[insert sound effect of your choice].

    Have a Blessed Day!

  3. Rich
    Mar 12, 10:52 AM

    Honey, did you count the kids before we boarded?

  4. Mariano
    Mar 12, 12:02 PM

    On a flight from Detroit to Japan with a baby: Flight attendant says, “I’m sorry, this must be the only 747 in our fleet without a changing table.” (After waiting through every bathroom line twice.) “You can change him on your lap or on the isle floor.” Let me assure you the other passengers weren’t too thrilled either.

  5. Boggs
    Mar 12, 01:07 PM

    19 kinds of wrong

  6. MariaMama
    Mar 14, 11:52 PM

    I love the last one! I’m lucky, my husband would say, “why don’t you take a nap and I’ll handle the kids”.

  7. KRAZYDAVE!!
    May 26, 05:05 PM

    HI JACK!