Phrases from a Man’s Thesaurus
- “IT’S A GUY THING”
Translated: “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.” - “CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?”
Translated: “Why isn’t it already on the table?” - “UH HUH,” “SURE, HONEY,” OR “YES, DEAR”
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response. - “IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN”
Translated: “I have no idea how it works.” - “TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU’RE WORKING TOO HARD.”
Translated: “I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.” - “THAT’S INTERESTING, DEAR.”
Translated: “Are you still talking?” - “YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.”
Translated: “I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop,’ the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification number of every car I’ve ever owned… but I forgot your birthday.” - “OH, DON’T FUSS — I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT’S NO BIG DEAL.”
Translated: “I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I’m hurt.” - “HEY, I’VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I’M DOING.”
Translated: “And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.” - “I CAN’T FIND IT.”
Translated: “It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.” - “WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?”
Translated: “What did you catch me at?” - “I HEARD YOU.”
Translated: “I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don’t spend the next three days yelling at me.” - “YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE.”
Translated: “I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse.” - “YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.”
Translated: “Oh, please don’t try on one more outfit. I’m starving.” - “I’M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.”
Translated: “No one will ever see us alive again.” - “WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK.”
Translated: “I make the messes; she cleans them up.”
From “The Good, Clean Funnies List” www.gcfl.net
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Todd,
My belly hasn’t had a work out like this since the days when I used to do crunches.
I cut and pasted these phrases to an email to my husband.
I put “Must you read?” in the subject line…Ha ha, the next email I sent had “It got you to read, right?” in the subject. Can’t wait til he calls today…He he.
#10 – HOW TRUE!!
oh my goodness that is too funny! I am the only female (besides the dog) in my male dominated world. I have already learned to speak caveman and now this list will help me understand them even better! Thanks! Can I post these on my blog linking it back to you? I blog at:
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/boysrus
Thanks! Dee