Phrases from a Man's Thesaurus

  1. "IT'S A GUY THING"
    Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
  2. "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
    Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
  3. "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
    Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
  4. "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
    Translated: "I have no idea how it works."
  5. "TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
    Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
  6. "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
    Translated: "Are you still talking?"
  7. "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
    Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification number of every car I've ever owned... but I forgot your birthday."
  8. "OH, DON'T FUSS -- I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
    Translated: "I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."
  9. "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
    Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
  10. "I CAN'T FIND IT."
    Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
  11. "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
    Translated: "What did you catch me at?"
  12. "I HEARD YOU."
    Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."
  13. "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
    Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse."
  14. "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
    Translated: "Oh, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."
  15. "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
    Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."
  16. "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
    Translated: "I make the messes; she cleans them up."

From "The Good, Clean Funnies List" www.gcfl.net

Leave a Comment

  1. Michael Fehland
    Oct 10, 03:41 PM

    Todd,

    My belly hasn’t had a work out like this since the days when I used to do crunches.

  2. Annie
    Nov 5, 11:33 AM

    I cut and pasted these phrases to an email to my husband.
    I put “Must you read?” in the subject line…Ha ha, the next email I sent had “It got you to read, right?” in the subject. Can’t wait til he calls today…He he.

  3. Becka
    Jan 8, 12:33 AM

    #10 – HOW TRUE!!

  4. boysrus
    May 1, 12:07 PM

    oh my goodness that is too funny! I am the only female (besides the dog) in my male dominated world. I have already learned to speak caveman and now this list will help me understand them even better! Thanks! Can I post these on my blog linking it back to you? I blog at:
    www.homeschoolblogger.com/boysrus
    Thanks! Dee